2011

As we come to a close for this year, I have to reflect on how things went this past year.  The main focus, other than my family of course, was my husbands business.  The harder he worked, the harder it seemed everything worked against him.  But just as well, the business started taking over our lives and ever since he decided to shut the doors in November, things have definitely turned around.  While opportunity waits for him, his spirit is better and he seems more positive.  The kids continue to be the light of my life and when everything seems to be going bad, all I have to do is look at them and it makes everything better.  Work is work.  I love my job and look forward to new opportunities to move forward and up; the question is, when will this opportunity occur?  With the government's budget and the economic situation, I am thankful that I have my position and until opportunity comes knocking on my door, I will continue to appreciate the opportunity that I have been given.   Some people tend to look at the negative and say, "Why?"  I choose to look at the negative and say, "Okay, I can handle this."  Everything happens for a reason and I am looking forward to what 2012 will bring!  Here's to a happy and healthy New Year.  LML!!

To All the Stay at Home Moms, I Salute You

Friday was Veteran's Day and in the spirit of being a Federal employee and honoring all of those who have served for us, I got the day off.  Now, before I get started, let me say that I am proud to be an American and I am proud of all of our service men and women, past and present, that have put their lives on the line for our freedom and the freedom of so many others.

But, back to my story....I don't know how you do it, all of the moms that have chosen to work as a full time mom (and I use that term with hesitation because I am a full time mom, I just don't stay home so please, give me a better phrase).  First of all, I woke up at the same time I do every day.  There is no sleeping in that's for sure.  Then I have this grandiose idea that I am going to get all of my errands run on Friday so I didn't have to do it all weekend.  We get dressed and get across town to Sam's Club for our first stop, only to find out that they don't open to regular members until 10 am - who knew this?  Not a problem, I thought, I will go to my next stop and come back.  Although I had planned on being home in time to make lunch at 11:30 and nap time by 12:15 to keep him on his normal schedule, that didn't happen.  What I thought would only take 5 minutes in Michael's took 45 (did I forget to mention that I had my two year old with me?)  We had to look at every Santa Claus, every light, every bow, and every Christmas Village house in the place.  And every time we saw a Santa Claus we had to say, "Ho, ho, ho to all and all good night." (Yes, I am teaching my child about the commercial side of Christmas, I can't help it, Santa is everywhere!).  We had to go back to Sam's (again, who doesn't open their doors before 10 am) and deal with traffic navigating through town (give me 695 any day of the week compared to around town traffic).  We finally get home and I make his favorite grill cheese, give him some milk and alas, nap time.  I sit down, prop my feet up, and then promptly said a bad word because I forgot to put the next load of laundry in.  So, while my little angel slept, I washed clothes, folded clothes, put clothes up, and emptied the dishwasher. 

Two hours later, my little angel woke up, I hurried to change his diaper, throw his jacket and shoes on and bolt out of the door for 2:30 doctor's appointment, only to remember halfway out of the neighborhood that I forgot juice and snack - oh dear.  I promised Little Bit that mommy would get him a surprise after the doctor and off we went.  Of course, I didn't tell him he was having blood taken and it was a big long needle that they jammed into his arm after cutting off his circulation and then they leave it in there to fill up tube after tube of the red stuff.  Whew, made it through that without hitting, scratching, or running away, and the baby did good too.  Off for ice cream - except I had my heart set on the new Sonic and after an hour of trying to locate it, I decided it might be best to just go home.

It was time for afternoon activity, so I got him some juice and some goldfish, and we started coloring and putting puzzles together.  I remembered that I left something upstairs, so, after making sure he was occupied with something that couldn't harm him (he was intently playing with an etch a sketch), I ran upstairs, grabbed the stuff, took a box to the recycling and went back downstairs and again, shouted a four letter word (it could have been more, that part of my day got all fuzzy) and just stared in disbelief.  My little angel had apparently decided he wanted to look like his daddy or his Uncle Josh and took a brown magic marker and went to work, drawing a beard on his face, scribble to look like (I'm guessing) chest hair on his chest, scribble on his legs and then he started on the couch.  Two different places on the couch and then the pretty, decorative pillows that go on the couch.  I could have died right there.  Finally, after an hour of scrubbing (I must send Resolve with Oxi Clean a thank you note) it was time to start dinner.  I've got chicken in the oven, apples for applesauce in the steamer, washing potatoes and snapping green beans then my husband calls.  he is supposed to pick up my step son at 5:30, it is 5:35 and he is calling to tell me that he is late and can I please go pick him up.  So off I go again, turning everything but the chicken off, flying out the door, pick my stepson up and fly home just in time to not burn the house down.

We eat, give baths, clean up and my sweet angels snuggle on the couch like nothing happened all day.  The boys go to bed, which is usually our time to be adults for a minute, to watch something other than Sprout on the TV, but I was exhausted.  So, on 11/11/11, on a day to remember, I went to bed at 8:30.  I couldn't take any more.

So, to all of you mother's out there that do this every day, I have one question....How do you do it and still look so put together?  My blood pressure was high just from trying to navigate through traffic, I was so mad at Sam's Club for throwing off my whole plan, I wanted dinner on the table at 6:15 and with the magic marker incident and the late husband that didn't happen and to top it all off, I never got my slushy from Sonic!

I honor you and I envy you!!!

When Love Counts the Most

On March 29th, I stood there, in front of God and all of our family and friends and said, "For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer."  Did I really mean that?  At the time, they are just words, you think.  There is no way I could get any poorer than I am now, you think.  "For better, for worse..." - well, you say that on what is the best day of your life.  You can't even think about worse.  It can't get worse.  You are marrying the man of your dreams, you're happy, on cloud nine....but then life happens.  And (almost) four years later, I look at my husband and realize how true those words are.  For better or for worse, I wouldn't be anywhere else!

Two Years Ago....

Two years ago, I was sitting exactly where I sat today (two years ago it was because my doctor told me I needed to rest, today it was because my almost two year old (tomorrow!) had a a fever.  All day long, I kept thinking, "how funny; how ironic."  I can't believe it's been two years.  Everyone said cherish each moment because it goes by so fast.  Of course, I didn't believe them, two years is a long time.  But as I sit here today, I wonder, have I cherished each moment?  Have I taken enough time to "stop and smell the roses"?  Or have I been too worried about getting it all done and being the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect coworker to have let these two years fly by without realizing how fortunate I am.  I am a mom.  I have someone that needs me, if only to cuddle in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream.  I bathe him and take care of him and love him so much.  But does he know this?  Have I shown him enough how special he is to me?  October 1, 2009 changed my life forever.  And I don't ever want him to think that I don't think he is one of the most important people in my life, if not the most important.  Everything I do I do it for him, but from this day forward I will not put anything before him.  That is my birthday gift to him....me.

Sunday Afternoons

Oh how I love Sunday afternoons.  All the laundry is done, errands run, soup in the crock pot, toddler napping.  It is the best time during the week.  No going 110 miles an hour; it is my time to actually sit with my feet propped up on the couch and do whatever I want to do.  I do not have to try to understand toddler-speak, I don't have to nag my husband to put away the bread in the kitchen after he is done using it.  While I love trying to translate my son's language and I really love to nag my husband, I look forward to my time.  Does this make me selfish?  Maybe.  But I figured there are 7 days in a week, I am selfless 6 of those days, I am allowed to be selfish for one.  I allowed to sit on fanny and do nothing for a couple of hours one day a week.  Don't take away my Sundays!  Oops, I hear the baby.  Sunday afternoon is officially over! 

Summer's End

It's been awhile since I last wrote.  Summer got the best of me like it always does.  You think you have so much time and before you know it, the long days are getting shorter, school is back in session and another summer has set.  Now it's time to think about fall and fall activities, namely Halloween.  I have decided that I want to be able to make my children's Halloween costumes, much like my mother did when I was growing up.  I remember her sitting at her sewing machine, sewing an eye patch for one of us who decided to be a pirate that year.  My husband thinks I am crazy.  Says that I can sew "in all my spare time."  But I want to be that mom.  I want to be able to come home from work and be the mom that tucks her kids into bed and works on all of her projects.  Is it so wrong to want it all?  And maybe I'll get so good at sewing that I can make clothes for my family too....who knows.  maybe I'll be the next designer on Project Runway.  But for now I'll stick with the basics....and Halloween costumes!

The Things You Do to Get Things Done

Okay, to say the least, it has been a very crazy day!  I started the day getting stuck in traffic for an hour (thank you 695), five minutes late to my 8:30 meeting that I was running (thank you team for being understanding) and then it was off and running.  I was lucky to get lunch in, came back from a 2 hour meeting to 50 emails that I had to answer...all I wanted to do was go home!  Which I did, thirty minutes later than I was supposed to. And, since husband sails on Wednesday night, I had to get it all done by myself....which usually is not bad except, at almost 21 months old, we would rather run around naked after bath time than put our pjs on.  Well, as you can probably guess, I am not in the mood to read a book naked or play hide and go seek naked for fear that I would probably be cleaning up some mess on the floor.  So, what do I do....Munchy the stuffed Monkey was in the crib; we have to put Munchy to "nite nite" every night and cover him with a blanket... TaDa - Munchy should have to wear a diaper too!  So, in an effort to keep my sanity, I went crazy and now, both Munchy and my son are in their diapers and I am sitting on my sofa with my feet propped up, at least until the dryer gets done and I have to go and change out the laundry...

Time for Myself

Okay, so I know that I am no busier than any other mother out there, but, I must say (and speak up if you are the same way), I feel I have no time for myself.  I know most of the time, i do it to myself.  If I am not cooking dinner or washing the clothes, then I see something that needs to be picked up and put away or cleaned or something.  For example, Sunday morning after a wonderful Father's Day breakfast, the kids were watching a movie, husband had to go check on something for work, the house was quiet...but did I sit down?  No, I decided that I need to oil my dining room table AND polish my silver.  Then, I decided that I should sort through some baby clothes and put them downstairs and wash three loads of clothes, etc, etc, etc.  I think you get the picture.  So this weekend (drum roll please) I actually made an appointment to get my hair done and my eyebrows waxed!  While that may not seem like a big deal to most of you, it's a huge deal for me, because I am walking away from my motherly, wifely duties, if only for a few hours, and tending to myself and no one else.  Yea, me.  Now if only I could find the time to fit the exercise routine into the schedule (yes, I am still working on that! Baby steps.....)

Is the American Dream Still Alive?

So we get up in the morning, go to work and get paid, clip coupons and check for deals to save money; instead of buying the designer new clothes, we shop at the outlets and Old Navy - all in an effort to save enough money to buy a house in a nice neighborhood with good schools.  And I'm not looking for a HUGE house - there are few things on my "want" list and I don't think they are unrealistic.  I want an open kitchen and a master suite.  An open kitchen because I want to be able to have the kids in the kitchen with me while I cook and a master suite because yes, Mommy needs privacy sometimes!  Other than that - I'll take three or four bedrooms, modest yard, garage (or not)....here's the problem - Unless you have someone giving you the money, you sell another house, you have no other expenses or you are just independently wealthy, it is almost impossible to come up with a 20% down payment plus closing costs in an area that to buy something decent is going to cost over 400,000.  So how do you make the American Dream a reality?

Exercise?

So, in my quest to simplify my life, I have decided that I need to find an extra hour in every day to exercise.  I came to this conclusion yesterday while I was standing at the pool in my new bathing suit, thinking I should be feeling great, yet I felt a little jiggly!!  I am so proud of myself for losing the weight that I gained while I was pregnant (yea me!); I'm not proud of myself for not firming up the way I wanted to.  Before baby, I had envisioned getting home from work every day, putting on my sneakers and going for walk or a run with the baby in the stroller; now, I am lucky to get home from work, get everyone fed and in their PJs before bedtime - by the time I get it all done, I am too tired to lift my head off the couch, much less go for a run.  "Run" is no longer in this mom's vocabulary....But it's summer time now and I want to be that "hot" mom at the pool that all the other mom's look at with envy, wishing they could have my body.  Or that my husband looks at with the look in his eye that says, "Yep, that's my wife."  So, I am going to try to get this body in motion and get in shape - I'll let you know if I make it farther than the end of the driveway!

Bully in the First Grade

How do you teach your first grader that violence is never the answer?  Who would have thought that you would even have to worry about it at this age?  Just when you think everything is going good, wham!  Another problem arises!  (Isn't that always the case?)  There is a child in my son's first grade class that could possibly be classified as a bully.  We have been told about this kid pushing my son and other kids around.  Well, of course we have the standard answer, "Ignore him.  If it's a problem, tell the teacher."  We even talked to the teacher about it during parent-teacher conferences.  Then the other day, we get a phone call saying that our son's buddy in class got beat up by this so-called bully.  Beat up - in the first grade!  Who has ever heard of this kind of stuff?  Maybe it's the bubble I live in, but seriously, they are too young to be faced with this kind of stuff.  But our boy, realizing that something wasn't right, went and got the teacher.  That took a lot of guts to do that, and we are so proud of him.  So, apparently, talking with your children IS the answer.  Tell your kids that violence is never the answer.  Tell your kids that it's okay to walk away and it's okay to get the teacher.  Bullying and violence in schools has got to stop and it's got to stop now!

What is wrong with people?

I am a nice person - yes, I can be very intense when I am working on a project and my personality can be a bit strong when I know something can be done and I am told no - but overall, I am a very nice person.  As I walk to the sign-in sheet in the morning, I speak to everyone I see.  I say good morning, even say "How are you?" if the opportunity presents itself.  I am in no way obligated to speak, it's just what I do.  So, why would someone tell management that I don't speak to them in passing?  Not everyone I say good morning to speaks back, most don't even acknowledge me, but I continue on my way, hoping that my good morning might brighten just some one's day....but I am not running to my management saying, "I said good morning to so and so this morning and they didn't say good morning back."  I thought that I had graduated from high school and entered the real world, but apparently we never actually leave that world.  No matter how old we are, how many years we have under our belts, we will still be faced with the behind the back "drama" that we tell everyone we don't do!  If they ever do a "Real Housewives of Annapolis" sign me up because I live the life every day!!!

Mother's Day

So, yesterday was my second official mother's day.  Aaahh, I get to sleep in, do nothing all day and have my husband spoil me - right?  Wrong!!  Due to the overeating of my son on Saturday evening, my husband and I were washing sheets at 11:00 pm and ended up falling asleep on the sofa, to which I woke up at 6:00 am (on the only day that I am given a hall pass to sleep as late as I want) and quietly turned on the tv and watched the new episode of Ruby (I can't help it, I am addicted to reality television).  An hour and a half later, the baby woke up; my husband, who had gone into my stepson's bedroom in the middle of the night, came running out and down the hall to get the baby so Mommy doesn't wake up...too late, Mommy already awake, getting baby out of his crib.  Snuggling back into bed with "little bit,"waiting for my husband to come back with a little bit of milk for the hungry one, my son looks at me and says, "Hap Mommy" and I melt.  All of a sudden I don't remember the incident from the night before or the temper tantrum last Wednesday because I put the wagon away.  All I could think of was how lucky I am to be able to be called "Mommy" and to have this wonderful, precious one look up at me and know that I will always be there for him despite the moments that my perfectionist world would rather not acknowledge.  I think this could be the best mother's day EVER!!  Hap Mommy to all the mothers out there!

My First Blog

So, while today is my first day blogging, it's just another day in the life of me.  Does anyone ever feel like they are in a rut?  Get up in the morning, get ready for work, fee the baby, pass the baby to your husband to dress, brush teeth, put jacket on, grab baby, out the door for the almost one hour commute to work (and the commute is even stuck in a rut - I get stuck in traffic at the same place every day), work all day, pick the baby up from day care, go home, fix dinner, bathe the baby, put baby to bed, shower, pj's, fall asleep watching tv and wake up and do it all over again!  Now there is some joy in there - my baby is not truly a baby anymore - he's 19 months old and learning new things every day.  And my 7 year old stepson is smart as a whip so he will keep you on your toes - but some times I feel like "same ole, same ole"....and that's why I wanted to write this blog.  To share some of my experiences as a working mom, trying to keep her head above water and still enjoy life a little bit - or try to!!