It's hard to adjust to change. Just when I think that I have the hang of things, I get what I want and welcome another member in my family. In April, we welcomed our baby girl and, after six weeks and many sleepless nights, we still haven't gotten the hang of things. I don't remember my first crying so much or not sleeping as much, but this little one seems to always want to know what's going on. As hard as I work on getting her to sleep for longer periods during the night, she seems to sleep less and less. Maybe it's because she senses that this will be my last baby and she knows that I need to spend as much time enjoying it as possible. And in my quest to make things "perfect," I won't take the time to cherish it unless forced to (hence the many sleepless nights).
Change is everywhere. Just the other day, my husband and I were talking about how, now that I am no longer "with child," we need to take more time for us....which is a big change because for the past four years, I have dedicated myself to my family and sort of lost myself in (and to) that. I don't regret my decisions, but I realize that there is time for just me and my husband to.
I am also determined to make a change to myself, both physically and emotionally. For my own happiness (and hopefully my husband's) I need to get myself back into shape. Not just losing the baby weight, but losing the weight I gained before my son was born almost 4 years ago and getting healthy again. My goal is to get to where I was when I got married (fingers crossed). Emotionally I need to change too. My patience has certainly been tested while I have been home on leave. I realize that I do need to take more time to enjoy the little things and not worry so much about the laundry or the groceries. I need to feel good about myself again and really find where I belong outside of being a mom and a wife.
I dedicate this summer to change and I hope that you will follow me as I embark on this journey. There will be some highs and there will be some lows, but it won't be boring. It's time to embrace change!!!
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