Maybe I Read Too Much Into Things...

Okay, I will admit, I was always the child that questioned EVERYTHING?  If my mom told me to do something, I asked why?  If my teacher told me something as fact, I asked, "how do you know that?"  And, as long as you could give me a plausible answer to back up what you said, I was fine with it.  I guess I have carried that trait into my grown-up personal life (I know I carried into my grown up professional life, though I try to ask it internally more).  Maybe I think too much, or maybe I don't think enough, but I have to say, something that I read last night really bugged me....and maybe I am reading too much into it, you decide.

As everyone knows, I am pregnant for the second time. And, as most of you know, I quit breastfeeding with my first after four days.  I know, I held on for as long as I cold, I don't like to be known as a quitter.  But, looking back on my decision, I know I gave up too quickly, and I know I put too much pressure on myself.  However, I decided it was in the best interest of my child and myself to switch to formula feeding (and yes, there is something to be said for feeding your child and sipping a glass of red wine at the same time...)

I have made the decision to try again, though.  I feel that I owe it to myself and my baby to try, and we'll decide together what's best.  So, this time, I am actually trying to educate myself on techniques and other things that I probably should have known the first time around.  I am the type of person that I am fearful of the unknown - if I have the "know how" then I feel more prepared and a little less overwhelmed. 

A friend of mine gave me a book to read so I started last night.  And it really is a good book in terms of the facts about correct positioning, how to store your milk, how soon after delivery to do you start, etc, etc, etc....however (and now to the point of this blog) I was a little offended by the insults the author made to women that did decide to formula feed, to the women that gave up on breastfeeding, to the women's "support" that didn't give the proper support when a woman was thinking about quitting, and to the woman who made the decision and the "harm" she has caused her child.  Now, with that said, I can say, "I am a formula fed baby that, aside from some genetic issues with my tonsils and adenoids, I rarely ever got sick, I finished in the top 11 of my graduating class (out of almost 400) and graduated college in 3 1/2 years....so I don't think that breastfeeding would have made much difference.  I can also say that my son, exclusively formula fed except for his first 4 days, has had 1 ear infection (can you hear me knocking on wood?), been sick maybe twice, and, if I do say so myself, is very smart for his three years.  When he was 6 months old, his doctor told me that he was very advanced in his social skills.

Now, I do know that, scientifically, there are benefits to breastfeeding, I am not debating that.  What I am debating is the idea that mothers who choose not to breastfeed are somehow "bad" mothers, the way this author was insinuating.  There is enough pressure on every mother out there today, do we really need more?  Do we really need to question our decisions, and then have someone tell us that we are wrong?  While a part of me wishes that I had educated myself more with my first, I think the decision that I made actually made me a better mother, because, after I made the decision (through frantic phone calls and lots of tears), I relaxed for the first time and held my baby with all of my love while he ate formula - and he was happy.  So, to all of you mothers out there, do what is best for you.  Do not listen to the insults or the judgements.  And all of you other people out there, think twice before passing judgement on someone else.  You haven't walked in their shoes.

New Year, New Resolutions

It’s that time of year again – time for the New Year’s resolutions.  But this year, I’ve resolved to be simpler.  I am not going to resolve to get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans….I’ll do it, but I’ll do it on my own schedule, I am not going to feel pressured to do it by the end of the year.  And, I’m not going to resolve to be debt free.  Heck, with being a federal employee, and almost going over that Fiscal Cliff, I can’t count on any big pay raises.  I will be smart with my money and continue paying down my debt.  But, I would do that anyway, regardless of it being a new year.  No, this year, I am going to go much more realistic, much more simple….I resolve to stop allowing the judgments of others affect me.  I resolve to be more confident in who I am and where I am going, regardless of what people’s opinions are of what I “should be doing.”  I have let this type of negative behavior lead me for too long and now I am going to work on stopping it, living my life for me and for my husband and children.  By doing this, it will help me to stop passing judgment on others and realize that life isn’t easy, people do the best they can, and whatever they are doing may just work for them.  I am going to live by the motto, “Unless you walk in my shoes, you can’t possibly know what’s best for me.”  Now, this is not to say that I am going to become all “self-righteous” and not care about other people.  No, not at all, I think this will help me care more, starting with myself!  Here’s to a great 2013!!!

Happy New Year!

After a Long Break...

I'm back!  I had to go on a bit of a hiatus because, well, if you haven't heard by now, I am preggars!  Yep, with child.  And I am just now getting over the horrible, awful effects of morning sickness, just in time for the horrible, awful effects of my belly getting big and getting in the way.  But, I keep reminding myself that I only have a few weeks left (23 and a half) and it's all worth it!  I feel like such a first time mom though.  Over the past three years, all of the products have changed, what you can and can't do is different....I have to start researching all over again.  For instance, can you still use bumpers?  Some places don't even sell them anymore?  Is it against the law?  Will the bumper police come to my house and arrest me if I put them on my crib?  And yes, people, I have stroller envy.  I was way more practical with my first child than I am with this one.  I need a fancy stroller this time, I want a fancy stroller this time.  There is nothing wrong with the one that I have, but I want to be able to go to the park or downtown and be the envy of the other stroller moms there - or at least fit in.  I want to look like I am a woman on the go - sleek and sophisticated, and cool!  So if there is any advice out there on what I need or what I should get, please let me know.  Oh, and one more thing, the nap nannies....anyone use one?  Worth the money?  Does it come with the nanny?  :)

Friends ARE the best Medicine

Sorry it has taken me so long to write this but, as you all know, stuff comes up and we don't make the time for the important things!  I did want to say that over the past two weeks, I  realized that I have some of the best girl friends that anyone could have.  And even though we all live miles apart, they are still there for me when I need them.    When the stress of life gets to be too much, I can count on my dearest to lift my spirits and listen to me when I just need to let it all out!  Love you guys and thank you!!!!

And to everyone else, don't forget how to be a friend.  We all need a little reminding sometimes when life gets in our way.

Common Courtesy

On my regular, Saturday morning Target run with the kiddos, picking up a few essentials for the week - nothing out of the ordinary, right?  I don't know if it's because I just got back from the Northeast or I am just sick and tired of people being so self-absorbed...but I actually (almost) caused a scene in Target.  Really!!!  I had my things in my cart, including my two year old, and I was turning into register 5 for checkout when this man (probably my age, maybe a little older) who was obviously looking for the fastest checkout for his 5 gift bags, walked away from lane 5, stopped, looked right at me, shrugged, and got in line in front of me.  Totally cut me off.  I felt like I was back in elementary school in the lunch line.  I waited, and when it was almost his turn, I went to the front of my cart and started putting my stuff on the conveyor belt.  My mouth got the better of me and I said, "Do you make a habit of cutting in front of people?"  He looked at me, shocked that I would say something (or at least I think it was shock).  He mumbled something and I so boldly said, "I just thought that it was really rude."  To which he replied, "It was totally rude."  And then he got out of my line and went to another one.  I felt so good, so liberated.  I actually stood up for something that usually just makes me stew on the inside.  Maybe my little personal victory will make this man think twice the next time he thinks that what he has to do is so much more important than anyone else.  And maybe this is one small step in the right direction to a more courteous country.  I am officially taking a stand on inconsiderate, self-absorbed people!  Who is with me?

Is It Wrong To Think This Is Funny?

I don’t think I am the perfect mother.  I let my child eat candy every now and  then, I let him have a sip of my coke (which he calls “soda” thanks to my New Englander husband) but I stick to a schedule, he eats fruits and vegetables and we read every night before bedtime.  So you can imagine my horror when his daycare teacher pulled me aside the other morning to tell me what happened in class that day.  They were sitting down to breakfast and the teacher asked each child what they wanted to drink.  Each one responded, “Milk.”  And then she asked, “Foster, do you want milk or juice.”  To which he responded, “Ummmm, I think I’ll have beer.”

Entitled?

I know I go through spurts; I wish I could be a regular blogger and publish my thoughts every week on the same day, and I am trying.  Such is the life of someone who is trying to fit this in on top of everything else.  But, if you are reading this, you already know this.  I normally talk about my trials and tribulations with my kids or with money (or both) but today I am going to touch on something that I haven’t done yet – current events.  I try to stay away from politics because my job requires me to, especially in big election years and world news depresses me, but I read something today that I find appalling and I had to voice it.  I just read an article about Rielle Hunter’s new book (for those of you who don’t know, Ms. Hunter is the former mistress of former Senator John Edwards) (so proud to say I am from NC because of that man….) In her “tell-all” book she writes of her relationship with this man, which I find funny because if anyone ever saw him walking the beach on 4^th of July in Wrightsville Beach, there is no way they can picture him the way she describes it.  But, you are wondering what the appalling part is….well, as I am giggling to myself, trying to imagine Mr. Edwards as a dominating man in the bedroom, the article goes on to say how much Ms. Hunter despised Mr. Edwards now-late wife.  Screech…..are you kidding me?  I realize it takes two for a marriage to work and a marriage to fall apart, but wasn’t Ms. Edwards the innocent victim in this?  Didn’t her husband vow to “for better, for worse….forsaking no other?”  So, if Ms. Edwards was mad and showed her “less than Southern” lady-like behavior, wasn’t she entitled?  Wasn’t she entitled to be a little upset and maybe a little hostile towards the woman that participated in the affair that led to the demise of her marriage, all the while battling a terminal illness that she knew was going to leave her children without a mother?  Isn’t she (and all of the other women in this world that it happens to) entitled?