I just want to be a kid again

Remember when you were a kid and you got sick?  And you stayed in bed all day or your mom set you up on the sofa with everything you needed so you could rest and get better?  Yeah that all changes when you become a mom.  I have been sick all weekend and not once has anyone said "take the day and go sleep it off."  No one made me a sick bed on the sofa with the remote control and free range over the tv and what I wanted to watch.  The kids are still fighting, the baby still needs her diaper changed, and lo an behold, they still need to be fed.  My friends at work laugh at me when I tell them its better for me to come to work when I don't feel good then it is to stay home.  As a mom, your job doesn't stop....it's like those commercials with the parents telling their kids that they are going to have to take a sick day.  There are no sick days in this full time job they call mommyhood.  But it's okay, I'll get better soon (I hope) and it will be back to normal.  It's a good thing that I don't get sick very often...I don't think I could stand it.

Mind Your Own Business

Recently, someone asked me if I was worried about my five year old being so small.  Not sure where the conversation was going I answered, honestly, "No.  At one point there was a hiccup but he has been increasing in percentile ever since, so we haven't worried."  But the conversation didn't stop there.  The person continued by saying that they would be worried if they had such a small kid and they would go to the doctor and get the child shots.  The person wasn't laughing so I wasn't sure if they were joking or not.  And I have definitely mulled it over in my head ever since then.  Have I ever said anything like that to anyone?  I don't think so, I hope not.  I know I have never told anyone their child is overweight, but have I ever said anything about them being underweight or under height?  And why would this person say that to me?

Anyone that knows me knows that my children are my pride and joy, especially my five year old (don't tell the other two!)  I don't have a favorite, but he and I, for a lot of reasons that may or may not ever be discussed in another blog, have a very special bond.  You don't mess with my children, and you certainly don't mess with him.  My five year old is a very special kid.  He is funny, smart, and caring.  He has a heart as big as Texas and can make you laugh just hearing him laugh.  So, yes, he is a little below average with his height, but not alarmingly  so.  Are we that shallow of a society that we would judge someone because they were a little shorter than the average?  Should I worry about my child not having a normal life because he is short?  Or, do people say things to mask the problems that they are having in their own lives?  Is it the belief that if I concentrate on someone else's "problems," then I don't have to worry about my own?

I'm here to tell you, I have been very upset over this exchange.  Partly because I don't want anyone looking at my son as less than perfect, but more importantly, I think that people need to stop trying to create a problem for someone else just so they don't have to deal with their own. 

And children are special and unique, each in their own way.  Love them for who they are and what they offer.  If you look past their physical attributes, you will see all of the special gifts they were given.  Just love them.  You don't have to give them shots to make  them bigger or taller.  They are perfect just the way they are.

Mind your own business.  And take care of your own business, because I am taking care of mine.

What is your Resolution?

Okay, let's face it.  We all want to be healthy, lose weight, take more time for ourselves....those are the basic resolutions.  But if you stop and think, what is it that you really want out of the new year.  What do you want to accomplish?  What do you want to learn?  The new year is always a time for reflection on the past and hope for the future.  I am still thinking about my resolution for 2015.  There are so many things that I hope for.  Peace within myself, the ability to step away from situations that hurt me, stop doubting myself and my ability.  Hopefully,  I will be able to achieve most of these...along with the pesky 10 pounds that I want to lose, and the monthly spa day that I want.  Anyone want to share their hopes for the new year?

Happy Holidays

In case you haven't noticed, I have been out of the blogging scene for a few (by a few I mean a lot) months now.  There was a lot that happened in 2014.  Some good, some not so good - but I vow that this blog is not a place to harp on the negative, I look at the positive and think of what is to come.  I stopped writing at the end of march because life got to be a little too much.  As many of you know, I lost my dad to Pancreatic Cancer at the beginning of April.  Through that experience, I have learned that each day is a blessing.  Each moment is to be cherished.   The dishes will get done....at some point; the laundry will get folded....eventually.  But you'll never get back that moment with your child giggling for whatever reason.  Cherish those moments.  Live in the moment!

As we wind this year down, I promise to keep sharing my thoughts with you, my funny moments with you, and hopefully let you know that no one is ever in this crazy world alone!  There is always someone living the crazy....and it's probably me, so feel free to share.

To everyone, I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season, that you spend time with those you love, and you continue to make memories.  Always live life to the fullest, don't take anyone or anything for granted.  Tomorrow is never a promise, it's always a blessing!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

Hakuna Matada

"It means no worries, for the rest of your days.  It's our problem free, philosophy, Hakuna Matada."   This is how we started our weekend a few weeks ago. All five of us have been under a lot of stress over the last few months... With work, school, family.  Not anything that others aren't experiencing too but it just seems to be catching up to us.  Foster and I drove home one night singing along with our Sesame Street channel on Pandora.  Right as we pulled in the driveway, the song from "Lion King" came on.  Aiden and Collin came out to help unpack the car and the next thing I knew all of our bags were dropped on the front lawn and we were dancing and singing "Hakuna Matada."  And for one moment, we had no worries. We were happy and carefree without a worry in the world.  I wish I could hold onto moments like this forever.  Let go and dance. Be carefree and worry free, even if it's only for a moment.

Let Go of Fear and Be ProActive

I wrote this a few weeks ago and then got so busy I haven't had time to post anything.  Hopefully, I will get back on track.  But if you don't read any other blog posts, please read this one.  It's so important to take charge of your health!

Okay, I’m not saying all fear – because some things I’m just not going to be able to get over, like my fear of heights, or my fear of spiders, or my fear of sitting next to stinky people in Jail overnight (don’t ask).  But, fear of going to the doctor.  Everyone has a bit of apprehension when they go to the doctor (I hope they don’t find anything, what if they tell me something is wrong, what if they tell me I need to change my diet, etc., etc., etc.)  I have a fear of needles – I don’t know why, I just do.  I DO NOT LIKE GETTING SHOTS.  How I made it through two pregnancies, I’ll never know, but I did and I am proud to say I got epidurals with both – AND SURVIVED!  But that still doesn’t mean I like needles.  And for two years my doctor has been telling me that I need to have my cholesterol checked.  Which means I have to go to a primary care physician and get a physical.  Not something that I am looking forward to, which is why I have been putting it off.  But this is my year of conquering things and letting go – so I am going to let go of my fear of needles, and physicals, and I am going to schedule my annual physical.  And from here on out, I am going to go every year and get one – EVERY YEAR!  Here’s to a healthy me!  Who’s with me?

2 Kids, a Husband and a Job: Relax, Release, Relate

2 Kids, a Husband and a Job: Relax, Release, Relate: Anyone remember Whitley saying this on "A Different World?" As funny as it was back then, it actually is so true.  Through the str...

Relax, Release, Relate

Anyone remember Whitley saying this on "A Different World?" As funny as it was back then, it actually is so true.  Through the stress of day to day life, plus any added things that God decides to throw my way, I feel my anxiety rising, I feel my patience wearing thin... and then I hear this monster, yelling at my kids, my husband, and anyone else that doesn't do what I ask them to do right when I ask them to do it.  I can also tell when stress is getting to me because things that don't bother me, all of a sudden are a big deal.  I actually took a week off from writing because things were getting to be too much.  I'm trying to teach myself to check out, to breathe, and to think about what's really important and what truly needs my attention.  It's so easy to let everything overwhelm you, but if you relax, release, and relate, your priorities fall into place.  Have a great week!

It Doesn't Matter if You Win or Lose, It's How You Play the Game

These words were said by my dad before every church league basketball game.  Go out and play your hardest, if you gave it your all, then that's all anyone can ask for.  And it's so true, and so relevant today with everything going on.  I realized this week, I don't always win, I don't always come out on top, as long as I give it my best shot.  Just one of the many life lessons taught to me by my dad.  I have to say, while I have a lot of my mom in me, I have learned so much from my dad, especially when it comes to being honest and ethical, helping others out, and giving it my all every time I do something.  I truly believe that's why I am where I am today (Thanks, Dad!) And that's why, even with setbacks, I am going to get where I need and want to go.  So, this week has been a week of reflection (as well as a week of cold, stomach bug, and stress).  Reflect on the things that you have, where you have been, and the lessons you have learned along the way.  Look forward to the future and all that is holds.  Live each day to the fullest and appreciate everything and everyone around you.  So, for everyone out there, in the game of life, remember these words, "It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game."

Progress

As we enter into a new week, we reflect on the last week to see what we accomplished and what we need to improve upon.  I will say that the snow definitely helped me because it gave me a little more time to work out during the day, which I am proud to say happened 4 times last week!  (Woohoo!) but I was actually able to work it into my schedule at work one day too, which was a since of accomplishment.  I am slowly remembering why I used to work out 4 days a week before I was married.  It is a wonderful stress reliever.  And believe me when I say I have a lot of stress right now.  But I am realizing that just by being able to "sweat it out" a little, I already feel like I am in a better frame of mind.  I feel good.  And I even treated myself to some new workout gear over the weekend.  A few things happened this week that reminded me, though, that I still have a lot of work to do with letting things go.  I am still getting my feathers ruffled by what people say or what they do.  One thing that I have to remember:  If I am going though a lot, then I am sure other people are experiencing issues that are stressful to them.  I have to remember that the world does not stop if I have a bad day.  Other people are entitled to bad days too, right? So, things to remember for the week ahead....keep working exercise into the schedule and take the time to ask someone how they are doing.  It can mean so much to that someone.  Happy Week, everyone!

Baby Steps

This title is loaded with meaning...I am making strides to a better, more organized, more calm me in 2014.  I was able to work out (okay, maybe it was just once, but I did it!), the Cozi Family Calendar worked wonders for our meal planning this week (take out during the week is going to be a thing of the past).  So I am making baby steps towards my goals.  But I'm also realizing that baby steps is the reason I am not getting as much done.  I'm not saying I don't have the time, but when I do, I am so tired that I am ready for dreamland.  I came to the realization with everything we have going on that I need to modify my goals.  I still want to let go of the things that are holding me back.  But I also need to not worry so much everyday about meeting these goals and just relish in being in the moment and cherish being a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  With that said, I'm still going to work out today and try on those jeans I've been waiting 4 years to get back into....I'll let you know next week how close I am (or how far, depending on how you want to look at it).  Enjoy the week y'all and let your family know you love them!

Week One...FAIL!

Does anyone else go into the first week of a new year all revved up and ready to go?  I was so motivated to get to the gym, start eating right, etc.  Since this is the year of letting go, I was going to start with the physical stuff (easy first) and work towards the hard stuff....well, that didn't quite happen.  Hubby got an SOS call (literally) on Saturday night, a plea to please drive a boat down to Key West and it had to be there by the end of the week.  A stressful meeting was scheduled for Monday, and awaiting news pretty much took up the rest of my energy. Needless to say, my kids were fed, my husband made it there and back, and the news was good, but I was a little less patient with co-workers, kids, and the lady in the cafeteria.  So to everyone out there that came in contact with me between Monday and Thursday - a big "I'm sorry!" So, I am having a "do over" week.  I am going to practice patience (breathe in, breathe out) and get to the gym three days this week.  And I have already planned my menu for the week (love Cozi!!) to avoid take-out (tip:  take out does nothing for the waist line or bank account - not helping let go of two of my items).  How did everyone else do this week?  Did everyone stick to their resolutions?  I would love to hear your success (and failures).  Hopefully, this coming week will be just what I need to jump start my year!!

New Year, New Me....Maybe

So, 2013 brought lots of changes for me and my family.  Probably the biggest, and the one that is the catalyst for all of the other changes is we welcomed our baby girl in April.  And after adjusting to life with three kids, she is a perfect fit for our family.  She is beautiful, laid back, and definitely a welcome addition.  One thing that didn't change for me is the ability to let things go....wow, this is a loaded phrase, right?  There are so many things that I hold onto - material things (i.e. the baby's coming home outfit, notes from my best friend in high school), emotional things (will I ever let it go that my husband was mean to me on April 17, 2008 at exactly 8:02 pm?), and, of course, the extra pounds that for four years I liked to call my battle scars - it proved that I was a Mom!!

Making resolutions is so cliché, but I always get excited at the new year, and the prospects that it can bring.  The anticipation of what's to come.  So, this year I have goals.  I want to be able to let go of some of the things that I have been holding onto too tightly for the past however many years.  I want to get and stay healthy, and I want to teach my family healthy living habits.  I also want to write my blog more regular.  These are my goals.  What are yours?

Too much

The past two days while reading the news, I can't help but feel that we take things way too serious nowadays and we as Americans can't just take things for what they are and let some things go.  First, it was the principal that threatened the valedictorian with his future because the student didn't use the speech that was edited for him by school officials and, here is the kicker, he mentioned God and Jesus in the speech. Having read the speech, I personally didn't think that the mention of God and Jesus was appropriate for the commencement speech, but I certainly didn't think it was worth taking the student's appointment to the Naval Academy away.  And the beauty of living in this country is that everyone can have their own opinion. 

Today, I read the news and see that there as in issue now with the Zesty Italian commercial.  Again, everyone has their own opinion and I personally find the ad quite amusing.  But I can see where some people wouldn't like it, but, yet again, is it worth making a stink about it?

I feel like too many times we focus on the frivolous and we have lost our sense of humor.  We have also lost our ability  to be tolerant of others and their beliefs.  Let's stop taking everything so seriously, focus on the issues that are truly important, and let other people express themselves too!  Be tolerant of others and let things go!

Welcome Summer, Welcome Baby, Welcome Change

It's hard to adjust to change.  Just when I think that I have the hang of things, I get what I want and welcome another member in my family.  In April, we welcomed our baby girl and, after six weeks and many sleepless nights, we still haven't gotten the hang of things.  I don't remember my first crying so much or not sleeping as much, but this little one seems to always want to know what's going on.  As hard as I work on getting her to sleep for longer periods during the night, she seems to sleep less and less.  Maybe it's because she senses that this will be my last baby and she knows that I need to spend as much time enjoying it as possible.  And in my quest to make things "perfect," I won't take the time to cherish it unless forced to (hence the many sleepless nights).

Change is everywhere.  Just the other day, my husband and I were talking about how, now that I am no longer "with child," we need to take more time for us....which is a big change because for the past four years, I have dedicated myself to my family and sort of lost myself in (and to) that.  I don't regret my decisions, but I realize that there is time for just me and my husband to.

I am also determined to make a change to myself, both physically and emotionally.  For my own happiness (and hopefully my husband's) I need to get myself back into shape.  Not just losing the baby weight, but losing the weight I gained before my son was born almost 4 years ago and getting healthy again.  My goal is to get to where I was when I got married (fingers crossed).  Emotionally I need to change too.  My patience has certainly been tested while I have been home on leave.  I realize that I do need to take more time to enjoy the little things and not worry so much about the laundry or the groceries.  I need to feel good about myself again and really find where I belong outside of being a mom and a wife.

I dedicate this summer to change and I hope that you will follow me as I embark on this journey.  There will be some highs and there will be some lows, but it won't be boring.  It's time to embrace change!!!

Maybe I Read Too Much Into Things...

Okay, I will admit, I was always the child that questioned EVERYTHING?  If my mom told me to do something, I asked why?  If my teacher told me something as fact, I asked, "how do you know that?"  And, as long as you could give me a plausible answer to back up what you said, I was fine with it.  I guess I have carried that trait into my grown-up personal life (I know I carried into my grown up professional life, though I try to ask it internally more).  Maybe I think too much, or maybe I don't think enough, but I have to say, something that I read last night really bugged me....and maybe I am reading too much into it, you decide.

As everyone knows, I am pregnant for the second time. And, as most of you know, I quit breastfeeding with my first after four days.  I know, I held on for as long as I cold, I don't like to be known as a quitter.  But, looking back on my decision, I know I gave up too quickly, and I know I put too much pressure on myself.  However, I decided it was in the best interest of my child and myself to switch to formula feeding (and yes, there is something to be said for feeding your child and sipping a glass of red wine at the same time...)

I have made the decision to try again, though.  I feel that I owe it to myself and my baby to try, and we'll decide together what's best.  So, this time, I am actually trying to educate myself on techniques and other things that I probably should have known the first time around.  I am the type of person that I am fearful of the unknown - if I have the "know how" then I feel more prepared and a little less overwhelmed. 

A friend of mine gave me a book to read so I started last night.  And it really is a good book in terms of the facts about correct positioning, how to store your milk, how soon after delivery to do you start, etc, etc, etc....however (and now to the point of this blog) I was a little offended by the insults the author made to women that did decide to formula feed, to the women that gave up on breastfeeding, to the women's "support" that didn't give the proper support when a woman was thinking about quitting, and to the woman who made the decision and the "harm" she has caused her child.  Now, with that said, I can say, "I am a formula fed baby that, aside from some genetic issues with my tonsils and adenoids, I rarely ever got sick, I finished in the top 11 of my graduating class (out of almost 400) and graduated college in 3 1/2 years....so I don't think that breastfeeding would have made much difference.  I can also say that my son, exclusively formula fed except for his first 4 days, has had 1 ear infection (can you hear me knocking on wood?), been sick maybe twice, and, if I do say so myself, is very smart for his three years.  When he was 6 months old, his doctor told me that he was very advanced in his social skills.

Now, I do know that, scientifically, there are benefits to breastfeeding, I am not debating that.  What I am debating is the idea that mothers who choose not to breastfeed are somehow "bad" mothers, the way this author was insinuating.  There is enough pressure on every mother out there today, do we really need more?  Do we really need to question our decisions, and then have someone tell us that we are wrong?  While a part of me wishes that I had educated myself more with my first, I think the decision that I made actually made me a better mother, because, after I made the decision (through frantic phone calls and lots of tears), I relaxed for the first time and held my baby with all of my love while he ate formula - and he was happy.  So, to all of you mothers out there, do what is best for you.  Do not listen to the insults or the judgements.  And all of you other people out there, think twice before passing judgement on someone else.  You haven't walked in their shoes.

New Year, New Resolutions

It’s that time of year again – time for the New Year’s resolutions.  But this year, I’ve resolved to be simpler.  I am not going to resolve to get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans….I’ll do it, but I’ll do it on my own schedule, I am not going to feel pressured to do it by the end of the year.  And, I’m not going to resolve to be debt free.  Heck, with being a federal employee, and almost going over that Fiscal Cliff, I can’t count on any big pay raises.  I will be smart with my money and continue paying down my debt.  But, I would do that anyway, regardless of it being a new year.  No, this year, I am going to go much more realistic, much more simple….I resolve to stop allowing the judgments of others affect me.  I resolve to be more confident in who I am and where I am going, regardless of what people’s opinions are of what I “should be doing.”  I have let this type of negative behavior lead me for too long and now I am going to work on stopping it, living my life for me and for my husband and children.  By doing this, it will help me to stop passing judgment on others and realize that life isn’t easy, people do the best they can, and whatever they are doing may just work for them.  I am going to live by the motto, “Unless you walk in my shoes, you can’t possibly know what’s best for me.”  Now, this is not to say that I am going to become all “self-righteous” and not care about other people.  No, not at all, I think this will help me care more, starting with myself!  Here’s to a great 2013!!!

Happy New Year!

After a Long Break...

I'm back!  I had to go on a bit of a hiatus because, well, if you haven't heard by now, I am preggars!  Yep, with child.  And I am just now getting over the horrible, awful effects of morning sickness, just in time for the horrible, awful effects of my belly getting big and getting in the way.  But, I keep reminding myself that I only have a few weeks left (23 and a half) and it's all worth it!  I feel like such a first time mom though.  Over the past three years, all of the products have changed, what you can and can't do is different....I have to start researching all over again.  For instance, can you still use bumpers?  Some places don't even sell them anymore?  Is it against the law?  Will the bumper police come to my house and arrest me if I put them on my crib?  And yes, people, I have stroller envy.  I was way more practical with my first child than I am with this one.  I need a fancy stroller this time, I want a fancy stroller this time.  There is nothing wrong with the one that I have, but I want to be able to go to the park or downtown and be the envy of the other stroller moms there - or at least fit in.  I want to look like I am a woman on the go - sleek and sophisticated, and cool!  So if there is any advice out there on what I need or what I should get, please let me know.  Oh, and one more thing, the nap nannies....anyone use one?  Worth the money?  Does it come with the nanny?  :)

Friends ARE the best Medicine

Sorry it has taken me so long to write this but, as you all know, stuff comes up and we don't make the time for the important things!  I did want to say that over the past two weeks, I  realized that I have some of the best girl friends that anyone could have.  And even though we all live miles apart, they are still there for me when I need them.    When the stress of life gets to be too much, I can count on my dearest to lift my spirits and listen to me when I just need to let it all out!  Love you guys and thank you!!!!

And to everyone else, don't forget how to be a friend.  We all need a little reminding sometimes when life gets in our way.

Common Courtesy

On my regular, Saturday morning Target run with the kiddos, picking up a few essentials for the week - nothing out of the ordinary, right?  I don't know if it's because I just got back from the Northeast or I am just sick and tired of people being so self-absorbed...but I actually (almost) caused a scene in Target.  Really!!!  I had my things in my cart, including my two year old, and I was turning into register 5 for checkout when this man (probably my age, maybe a little older) who was obviously looking for the fastest checkout for his 5 gift bags, walked away from lane 5, stopped, looked right at me, shrugged, and got in line in front of me.  Totally cut me off.  I felt like I was back in elementary school in the lunch line.  I waited, and when it was almost his turn, I went to the front of my cart and started putting my stuff on the conveyor belt.  My mouth got the better of me and I said, "Do you make a habit of cutting in front of people?"  He looked at me, shocked that I would say something (or at least I think it was shock).  He mumbled something and I so boldly said, "I just thought that it was really rude."  To which he replied, "It was totally rude."  And then he got out of my line and went to another one.  I felt so good, so liberated.  I actually stood up for something that usually just makes me stew on the inside.  Maybe my little personal victory will make this man think twice the next time he thinks that what he has to do is so much more important than anyone else.  And maybe this is one small step in the right direction to a more courteous country.  I am officially taking a stand on inconsiderate, self-absorbed people!  Who is with me?